But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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