I faked an abortion last night.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
