no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
