i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
