direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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