Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
