Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize