now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
