So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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