Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
