it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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