Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
