why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
