Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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