The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
