Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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