So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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