Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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