I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
