dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
