He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize