why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think people are normalizing furries
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
