I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
one might say we're banned from that church
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Randomize
