Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
