fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
