So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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