Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
