I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
