Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
