note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
