Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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