It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize