Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just had sex on a roof
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
