ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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