My friends, they love my intelligence
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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