im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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