Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
