Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize