You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
