i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
