I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
