HIV tests are more positive than that guy
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
