How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
