I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
