there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
