it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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