I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
