i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
