he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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