I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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