FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize