if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Drunk is not a location!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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