I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
