ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
