Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
