yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
