How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
