Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
